Sunday, 23 February 2014

Meet These Iconically Serious People. Inkee Condition Seriously Serious Hai!

The following post is part of a campaign sponsored by the mentioned company. I have written this post as a challenge for my skills of articulation and creativity and do not necessarily endorse all the information provided in it.

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                              Image Courtesy Cadbury 5 Star

When I decided to blog on this topic, I seriously started looking for serious people around me.

Since I  was never considered a serious person myself, writing about self was out of question. I am a born 'non-serious'. a The day I was born, I was thrown out of the maternity ward and the hospital, to make room for newborns with ‘more serious’ conditions. The pediatrician, along with the medical staff conspired to declare my health as ‘non-serious’ and sent me home. 
The ‘non-serious’ me, on the day I was born….
Image courtesy newborndaydreams.com

However, a few days later, the same pediatrician accused me of my non-serious intentions of acquiring cognitive abilities and motor-skills. 

Then in the early days of my childhood, my kindergarten teacher declared that I was never serious about learning my ABCs, numbers and colours but was serious only about teasing other kids. My mother had to agree, since she too had complaints about my non-seriousness in going through her Bachelor’s program in Toilet-Training, and Master’s program in Behavioral Sciences. 


Image courtesy ggpht.com   and    babycentre

During my teen years, my teacher told the world about my not being serious about my Maths, my mother always accused me of not being serious about my appearance and sense of dressing, while my dad continued to tell my mom about  my being never serious about money and spending habits. 


Image courtesy Cadbury 5 Star

My family, my extended family, my school, my neighbourhood, and the society in general had declared that I wasn't serious about anything including life.
This is how I solve my life's serious problems….
Image Courtesy Cadbury 5 Star

Then 10 years later, my mom started publicizing that I am not serious about getting married and settling down in life.  To prove my seriousness, I eventually married, but only to hear from my wife that I am not serious about spending time with her, visiting her mom and dad, giving her company during her shopping sojourns, and in general, about her.















And this is the ‘non-serious’ husband that I am….
Image courtesy dirtyandthirty.com  and   kulfoto.com

My wife keeps on asking me even now, “Do you seriously love me? Do you?”


This is how I express my serious love for my wife….

Image courtesy rlv.zcache.com  and  joyreactor.com 

Then came the kids, who feel that I am never serious about fulfilling their basic needs for survival, like Sony PSP, iPhone 5, Bose surround sound speakers, Jacuzzi, etc.


My serious kids with their life saving devices….
Image courtesy electronicstakeback    and    i-cdn.apartmenttherapy

I have been branded such a non-serious person that If indiBlogger or Cadbury find out my history, they would ban me from writing on this topic. Seriously! And as such, ever since I have taken up blogging, I have never been serious about it. My not being able to win even a small consolation prize in Indiblogger contests proves that I am a non-serious blogger who does not take the contests seriously.

So, to feed this blog-post, I started looking around for serious people. And to my surprise, I found myself surrounded with many, each of them claiming to be more serious than the other.

For example, the doctors, who had declared me a non-serious person on the day of my birth, continue to play a serious role in my life. The other day when I went to my doctor with fever and body ache, he took to examining me very seriously. Looking seriously into my eyes, he advised me to get done a CT-scan, an MRI, pathological tests of all possible fluids (and solids) that are found in my body, TMT, Angiography, ECG, EEG and other unthinkable and unpronounceable tests. To reinforce my belief in his seriousness about my well-being, he added a few neurological tests too to the list. While I admire his serious commitment about keeping me in pink of my health till next 150 years, I suspect that just after he finished writing prescription for me, he wrote under 'To Do List' in his personal diary, “Upgrade vacation plans from Goa to Bahamas”.


This is my doctor who is damn serious about my health (and his wealth....)
Image Courtesy  labwear.com  and  stopthecap.com

My doctor is not the only serious person in my life. Returning from the doctor’s clinic, I stopped at my kid's school to meet his teacher. The teacher, as I had expected, showed serious concerns about my six year old's progress report. Talking about my kid's non-seriousness about studies ( I told her it was genetic), he suggested a serious solution for the problem, i.e. getting him enrolled in the private coaching class he conducted after schools, for some serious studies.  He even hinted that non-compliance of this serious suggestion of his could have serious consequences for the kid's immediate future.

This is my kid's school-teacher cum private tutor, serious about my kid's (and his) future....
Image courtesy 123rf.com  and  indyweek.com

Gathering all the seriousness that I could, I came home. As I was browsing through  the various bank deposits to select the one I would liquidate to pay for my six year old’s extra coaching classes, my broker (cum financial advisor) dropped in. With a serious look on his face, he began expressing serious interest in making me a billionaire, and started dispensing serious ‘buy’ and ‘sell’ advice. In a single breath, he reminded me of my serious responsibilities like kid’s education and marriage, house-purchase, life-insurance etc. etc. and started advocating that I buy the hundred and thirty three ULIP policies he brokered for, unless I wish to be proved an irresponsible person not serious  about my family’s future. Since I take the meaning of ‘Broker’ as someone who makes the peoples ‘Broke’; I escaped the serious traps he was leading me into.
This is my stock-broker cum financial-adviser, serious about making me rich....
Image courtesy timesofindia.com  and  i.dailymail.co.uk


The more I explored, I found that I was surrounded by more number of serious people than I had imagined. Like my lawyer, who is extremely serious about protecting my interests. He is so seriously in love with the case he is fighting for me that he has let it run in the courts for last 20 years, and has constructed a double storied house with the fee he receives from me.

Here's my lawyer, who is seriously pursuing my case (err briefcase)....
Image Courtesy hubspot.net and dreamstime.com

Whenever I go to the court to meet my lawyer, I always come across men in Khaki who epitomize seriousness with their hawkish eyes and tough looking stance. Their top brasses too  declare without fail on every third day, that they and their khaki-clad clan are damn serious about preventing crime and maintaining law & order, though the beneficiaries of their efforts include only a few rich and mighty men of the society whom they protect with all their seriousness. The others like Nirbhayas and Jessicas are not serious enough to deserve their seriousness. Actually, mortals like me and you are mere jokes for them, who annoyingly interfere with their seriousness.

Our seriously serious men in khaki....
Image courtesy atstockillustration.com  and  theplanetd.com
The more I look around, the more I find  a breed of seriously serious people holding back the country (and probably the world) from plunging into deep oceans. Here is a top industrialist  and a billionaire of our country who claims, with all his seriousness, that the purpose of all his businesses is to serve the nation. I see him speaking with all the seriousness in the world about what the government needs to do to help industrial growth and generation of employment. His engrossment with seriousness and nation-building is so intense that it not only makes him forget pay his share of taxes, but also makes the taxmen forget to collect from him.



Industrialists and businessmen, seriously engaged in building the nation....
 Image courtesy 3.bp.blogspot.com  and 3.bp.blogspot.com


The seriousness has invaded my home too. Surrendering to my wife's serious threats, I often take her to the mall for her shopping sojourns. The malls are usually flooded with incredible discount offers (upto even 99%). I tend to smile at the serious efforts the owners of these businesses make for distributing their wealth among the commoners like me, by offering these generous discounts (99%??, Ha!). But my wife who takes these discount sales quite seriously, chides me for not seeing the golden opportunity these ‘Discount Sales’ present to us, enabling us acquire the precious goods otherwise affordable to only those living in Malabar hills and driving an Audi. And when the salesperson with all the seriousness in the world, starts convincing us on his noble intentions of allowing us to rob the owners of these businesses, of their lifetime earnings and wealth, by availing the discount-deals, I find it difficult to suppress my laughter.

The serious Discount-Sales, which my wife is always serious about....
Image Coutesy cloudfront.net  and  chumplady.com
Trying hard to remain serious as a token of respect for my wife's sentiments, I return home. As soon as I switch on the TV, I come across a sea of serious news channels with serious looking anchors conducting serious panel-discussions on seriously serious issues with remarkably serious people invited in the studio. The anchor, sporting an aggressive posture and body language, barrage the invitees with a volley of serious questions, as if threatening to strip-open their life's secrets and make a spectacle of them in full public view. The invitees, with equal seriousness, not only return  the volley of questions and accusations, but also directed a few to their rivals sitting beside them. What ensues is a serious cock-fight, with each one, including the learned anchor, baying for the others' blood.

While I admire the media’s seriousness in playing the fourth pillar of democracy, inciting serious thoughts in its viewers, the channel suddenly changes track and starts playing the spicy interview with a Bollywood actress revealing the secrets of her life. Meanwhile, another serious news-channel starts airing live visuals from the hospital where another Bollywood actress is going to attain maternal bliss. The display of such serious concerns by democracy's fourth pillar's is usually too much seriousness for me to digest in a day, so I switch off.


The serious news-channels, seriously discussing serious issues....
Image courtesy  indianprairiecommunity  and  2.bp.blogspot.com


Even the Bollywood hasn't been able to escape seriousness. There is no dearth of serious actors and actresses in Bollywood who claim that they are serious about the serious cinema, serious about the storyline, serious about working towards becoming a true artist and not just about becoming a superstar. Some serious evidence of their seriousness shows up when they are seen shaking their booty at raunchy item numbers in the multicrore ventures of production houses seriously known to make only commercially successful films for non-serious viewers like me.

                     The serious cinema, made for serious viewers....
Image courtesy bollywoodmantra

Overwhelmed by the seriousness surrounding me, I am always compelled to take a serious decision. I end up buying a pack of Cadbury 5 Star at a seriously low price of Rs 5 a bar, and putting one in my mouth. As the bar melts in my mouth, I feel seriously happy.


Image Courtesy Cadbury 5 Star

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Images are symbolic, used for illustration purpose only. Source for images is  mentioned near the images with a backlink.

This is an entry for the blogging contest #CONDITIONSERIOUSHAI by Cadbury 5 Star in association with Indiblogger.

Still serious? To get rid of seriousness, visit the Cadbury 5 Star Facebook page.

6 comments:

  1. hahahahah your entire life seems like a roller coaster ride Saket!!!

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  2. That was one hell of a post, man - almost an autobiography. Best of luck for the contest.

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  3. Excellent ! Amazed to see how nicely you have narrated every day experiences and perfectly supplemented them with images. I got seriously infected with inferiority complex about my blog after going through yours! All the best for the contest!

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  4. WOW man!! This is a seriously funny post! I think you will seriously win this time!

    ReplyDelete