Sunday, 20 December 2015

The Two Alpha Males- Me and The Star Wars Notebook

The following post is part of a campaign sponsored by the mentioned company. The author does not necessarily endorse all the information provided in the post.

Source Slideshare

It’s my third year in the university and my hands are full- lectures, seminars, part-time jobs, projects, sports, cultural fests….., and of course, the most important part of my schedule- meeting and dating with the opposite sex.

Yeah, despite being in a top university studying a coveted course and wearing an intellectual look, I am, under my collar, a primitive creature who always keeps looking for the opportunities to meet (and mate) with the opposite sex, the females that is. I must admit that this basic instinct of mine dominates my all other thoughts and actions. I do not leave any opportunity to find and impress females of my species whether it’s inside the lecture-hall, or in the laboratory, or seminar, or the cultural fest. They are always on my radar and I find always myself competing with other males to get the attention of the females around us all the time.

And believe me, it takes a lot to get ahead, leave alone win in this mating game. The girls are complex creatures. But that is another topic.

There was this seminar on Artificial Intelligence where in all premier institutes of India and abroad were to participate. I was excited; not just because I am good at the subject, but this was going to be an opportunity for me to meet creatures of opposite sex; of various types and race, of various colours and creed, Indian and foreign. My basic instincts were overpowering my brain again.

I said I was good at the subject of “Artificial Intelligence” because my intelligence is not artificial, it’s natural. And since my intelligence is natural, the “natural instincts” form a good part of my intelligence. J

The big question was- how to stand out in the crowd? The guys in my university are desperados who would go any lengths to attract the females. A few of them are extremely rich and I was sure they would leave no stone unturned to impresses the targets.

In the seminar, as far as impressing the chair goes, I was confident that I would be far ahead of my rivals, with the solid research done by me on the subject. But when it comes to impress girls, I anticipated some competition.

I thought over this for a while. Then my natural intelligence, the basic instincts as we call it, flashed an idea in my mind.
*  *  *  *  *

The Seminar day arrived. Flocks of young guys and girls started filling the conference hall and adjacent ground in the university.

For me it looked to be a perfect hunting ground. Female of all feathers- dark, fair, tall, short, slim, chubby, sharp, innocent, filled the place. Here would be my chance to befriend a few chosen one with high SMV and then who knows what follows next ……….

The guys of my university went crazy. I saw that son of Rockefeller arriving in a Ferrari, getting down stylishly. The girls standing yards away too turned their heads to steal a look.

A few arrived wearing designer suits and designer watches and designer glasses and ……. Everything on their body was designer.  It appeared as if their parents too had opted for designer sperm and designer ovum to produce them.

Then there were some who carried their guitar with them to play in the lawn during leisure hours to attract the girls. But that’s so old school. No?

Some went straight to the girls and started chatting as if that was all they were there for, but in the process appeared too desperate.

I knew what I was up to…. J

The session started. The lectures and presentations continued followed by yawns, then more presentations and more yawns.

The break for lunch and all hell broke loose. Herds to students thronged the food tables. After half hour or so, the students, both males and females, dispersed themselves across the sprawling lawn in the university campus. The females made groups and were seen around the fountain, tress and rose-plants.

I knew that this was my chance to strike. I spotted a group which contained prettiest of them- both Indian and foreigners.  I positioned myself on a rock a few meters away from them in the lawn.

Then I struck. I opened my bag, and took out the HP Star Wars Special Edition Notebook.  Stylishly, I unfolded it and kept on top of my lap.

I constantly kept staring only on the screen deliberately displaying no interest in the girls around me.

So there was me sitting stylishly on a rock in the lawn. There was this monster HP Star Wars Notebook on my lap with its wings wide open. The backside surface of the notebook right in front of my target group featured the masculine graphics.

The girls glanced towards me curiously. And in a moment their gaze got fixed on the HP Star Wars Notebook. They started giving impressed looks towards the beastly machine from all angles.

The girls started moving closer to have a better look. First in ones and twos, and then in flocks…….

All this while, I made no attempt to give them a look, apparently exhibiting that my HP Star Wars Notebook was worth my attention more than them. I kept tapping the keyboard with my fingers while parts of my eyes and my ears were working like radars monitoring the girls’ movements.

The girls surrounded me. They were watching the HP Star Wars Notebook with lustful expression on their faces. I could see their cheeks turning red, eyes opening wide and lips rounding in a manner as if they would kiss the HP Star Wars Notebook if I allowed. I could sense their breaths becoming heavier and heavier with each look towards my direction.

The chick from Canada was the first one to speak, “Whoa, what a beast!”

She was referring to the masculine battle worn design the Star Wars Notebook sported. But I believed that the compliment was for me as well, as she stole a glance towards by six pack body too while saying the word “beast”.

The girls looked in awe towards the HP Star Wars Notebook’s gigantic screen. I knew it was time to make another strike. I quickly and ruthlessly unleashed the ominous dark side graphics on the screen of the notebook.

The girls started moving closer inch by inch.

The things which seduces the females in seconds, other than display of confidence, is music. Having full knowledge of this, I quickly started streaming DJSnake and RudyMancuso through the notebook’s powerful speakers. The girls started melting as the mysterious sound entered into their ears.

“Can I touch it?” a voice asked. An Indian beauty this time. He eyes were begging me to let her touch something entirely mine. With a devilish smile on my face, I said “Yes”’ and took her hand into mine. I could feel her fingers twitch as I guided her hand on the glowing red back-lit keyboard.

Another tall slim and fair lass had grabbed the pointy mouse with her hand. Keeping it in between her palms, she started stroking its smooth sides with long fingers. I felt as if the mouse was a part of me, an extension of me.

“May I?” She asked seeking permission to continue with what she was already doing. “I hope you get no hard feelings upon my doing this without your permission,” she said, tongue in cheek, looking straight into my eyes.

I said’ “Oh, it’s all right.” She continued to hold and caress the mouse while I was murmuring to myself, “No hard feelings buddy, just relax.”

More and more girls started leaving other guys and joined me. Soon the Rockefeller’s son, the guitar holder and the designer guy were left alone while the girls were competing with each other for a chance to talk to me.

The seduction was complete now.

What followed next was exchange of phone numbers, fixing of rendezvous for the evening, and alike. And yes, some meaningful glances too were exchanged. J

Needless to mention that I came out as winner. I spent the evening juggling multiple dates, one of which continues into late night, or say early morning. It was almost 5 am when I reached home. I had the satisfaction that I had used all my gear to the best of its abilities, including the HP Star Wars Notebook

I am known as an alpha male in the university and town since then. Me and HP Star Wars Notebook deserve the status rightfully.



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This post is written for the  HP Star Wars Fun Side Challenge in Indiblogger

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