What Is India, By The Way?

The other day, my foreigner friend, Humpty Dumpty, asked me: “What is India?

Me: Why do you ask? It’s a country, a subcontinent, a....peninsula perhaps?”

He: I mean, what actually is India? I am confused. Is it a place where guests get worshiped like God, or get raped the first time they reveal their fair skinned legs below the skirt?

Me: Huh?

He: Is it the land of monks, or is it where Sunny Leone comes from? Is it a place where celibacy is revered? Or is it a place where people reproduce like rabbits?  

I batted my eyelids. I was as clueless as him.

He: I am confused. I vaguely know that it’s a place where women keep their faces hidden behind a veil, but someone recently told me that your national dress saree allows an eyeful of their bare belly?

Me: Yeah, and perhaps the navel too if you are lucky.

I wondered whether we Indians knew what India is.

Recently a certain Pappu called it a beehive and drew flak. People who pounced on him were the ones who prefer to call it “Mother”, but with a pre-condition that only a particular set words - “Vande Mataram” be used to refer to her.

I am not sure what it is.

Is it where you get the spiciest of food, or spiciest of ladies? I mean the the ones from Bolly, Tolly, and Mollywood?

Is it the biggest exporter of Patanjali’s Shilajit (desi aphrodisiac)? Or is it the biggest importer of Viagra?

Is it a place where you may get free wifi at public places, but will have to pay to use a toilet?

Is it a place where people flock to one Baba’s shop to buy everything swadesi including noodles and chocolates? Or where everyone is looking to go UK for studies, US for work, and for all other things, Bangkok. (Although someone recently claimed to have visited Bangkok for Vipaasana only).

Is it some sort of concoction? (Drinking which keeps us intoxicated enough to bear the pains of being here?)

Perhaps India is a cocktail served with some Vada Pao, Patanjali peanuts, butter chicken, and no beef.

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Image Courtesy- Indiatvnews

This post is written for following prompt

How can WE, the common public, help our country India?#WEPower