Saturday, 8 October 2016

What Is India, By The Way?

The other day, my foreigner friend, Humpty Dumpty, asked me: “What is India?

Me: Why do you ask? It’s a country, a subcontinent, a....peninsula perhaps?”

He: I mean, what actually is India? I am confused. Is it a place where guests get worshiped like God, or get raped the first time they reveal their fair skinned legs below the skirt?

Me: Huh?

He: Is it the land of monks, or is it where Sunny Leone comes from? Is it a place where celibacy is revered? Or is it a place where people reproduce like rabbits?  

I batted my eyelids. I was as clueless as him.

He: I am confused. I vaguely know that it’s a place where women keep their faces hidden behind a veil, but someone recently told me that your national dress saree allows an eyeful of their bare belly?

Me: Yeah, and perhaps the navel too if you are lucky.

I wondered whether we Indians knew what India is.

Recently a certain Pappu called it a beehive and drew flak. People who pounced on him were the ones who prefer to call it “Mother”, but with a pre-condition that only a particular set words - “Vande Mataram” be used to refer to her.

I am not sure what it is.

Is it where you get the spiciest of food, or spiciest of ladies? I mean the the ones from Bolly, Tolly, and Mollywood?

Is it the biggest exporter of Patanjali’s Shilajit (desi aphrodisiac)? Or is it the biggest importer of Viagra?

Is it a place where you may get free wifi at public places, but will have to pay to use a toilet?

Is it a place where people flock to one Baba’s shop to buy everything swadesi including noodles and chocolates? Or where everyone is looking to go UK for studies, US for work, and for all other things, Bangkok. (Although someone recently claimed to have visited Bangkok for Vipaasana only).

Is it some sort of concoction? (Drinking which keeps us intoxicated enough to bear the pains of being here?)

Perhaps India is a cocktail served with some Vada Pao, Patanjali peanuts, butter chicken, and no beef.

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Image Courtesy- Indiatvnews

This post is written for following prompt


  1. The beef is very much in the menu :)

    1. Heh heh....

      Thanks Durga Prasad ji, for visiting.

  2. interesting , conflicting , provoking, smiling, thinking ....lovely style and Yup the question raised also ..impressive Saket jee

  3. We are hypocrites and are proud of the fact too. Are we shameless or ignorant? I often think but never get any relevant answer. Well, once I've seen an orthodox brahmin buying beef while hiding his face completely. He even told the butcher to keep the stuff in his car as he didn't want people to see him in front of the meat shop. This is real India.

    1. Perhaps we are ignorant more- about our real status in the world, and of our self-perceived greatness.

      Hah ha.....May be Flipkart and Amazon should do something for people like him.

      Thanks Sangeeta, for visiting and sharing your view.

    2. You pointed out one more advantage of online shopping, Saket :-)

  4. A land of paradoxes with multicultures, hundreds of languages, and so much rich heritage and now globalized beyond hyper, borrowal of everything from the west and others and merging with our own...a very nice post Saket

    1. True, Sunita.

      Thanks for visting and sharing your thoughts.

  5. Well expressed as usual, Saket!
    India is like a kaleidoscope. Let's work hard & make the view better!

    1. Thanks Anita, for your words of appreciation.

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