The Guy Who Inspired Me To Lose My Temper

Since childhood everyone taught me that losing temper is bad, is a sign of weakness. “Never lose your temper,” preached every book, from the primary school textbook to the Amar Chitra Katha comics. Everyone said “Do not lose your temper”. The one who loses his temper, loses the battle”.

I grew up listening to the “Do not lose your temper” advice. “Control over temper is your biggest victory”. “One who can’t control his temper, is a loser”. 

Image courtesy clker

Easy to preach, tough to follow.

As a result, whenever I lost my temper, shouted or screamed at someone, I felt guilty. I felt like a loser to have lost my temper. It’s bad to lose one’s temper- that’s what everyone had taught me.

I had just started my professional career. During the course of training, I was visiting a remote location to get myself acquainted with the work there. One evening, I was travelling with my colleague posted there, a few years senior to me, in his car. During light chit-chat, he suddenly murmured a few words which I could never forget.

“If required, one must lose his temper, but not lose his honour," he advised. Suddenly, I got a strange feeling of relief. My bottled-up stress caused by the dilemma "to lose or not to lose my temper" got relieved, and I felt good about myself. 

I haven't forgotten those words till today. It made me feel “It’s OK to lose your temper, without feeling guilty”. “It’s OK to lose your temper, if it’s for guarding your values or guarding your self-honour”….It’s ok.

I don’t feel like a loser anymore when I lose my temper. Rather, I would feel like one if I don’t.

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Written for Write Tribe Festival of Words 3