The Tirupati Moment

I could have easily skipped writing on this week’s prompt had I not read Ashwath’s post (Since I am very uncomfortable writing about myself or my life). Ashwath’s post prompted me to share a similar experience I had with Tirupati and the God presiding there. And the line in his post, ‘It’s not chivalrous to live in denial of one’s emotional identity….” gives me courage.

Unlike Aswath’s post, which is a tale of his honestly keeping his end of deal with God breaking the strings of ‘pretentious molar of false ego,’ as he calls it, mine is a tale of my failure to keep my promise arising out of my inhibition to shed the coolness factor, which I assume, came from my arrogance of not acknowledging my limitations in the functioning of universe.

I had never claimed to be an Atheist, even an agnostic. Perhaps this makes my offence more serious than that of an atheist. In my case, it was an offence committed not in ignorance but with full knowledge, a breach of contract.

We humans are helpless yet greedy beings, always wishing for things which are beyond our capabilities or entitlement. I am no different. Behind the cloak of my self-confidence and ego of self-reliance, lied my desire to turn the dice of luck in my favour.

Seeking to be granted favours from the powers of the universe I had pledged my hair the God who presides over Tirupati. But once favours granted, my false ego and inhibition to accept my frailty, (to lose the coolness factor), I acted conveniently,defaulting on the promise.

A convenient breach of contract, and act of deception with someone who I thought was too indifferent to remind me for his dues, was an act of dastardity on my part.

However, in the time that followed, I found myself cursed with adversities beyond the control of human means. The universal dice unfavoured me in its each and every throw. I was surrounded with troubles which although I did not expect yet knew that I did not qualify to undeserve them either. Surrounded with situations beyond the influence of human means or will, I experienced the futility of money, power and resources.

Having the convenience of being a believer, I turned to the God at Tirupati to help me sail through the circumstances no human has neither competence nor resources to cross. Finally, I accepted my defeat and paid my dues to the God to seek forgivance.

I remember having been told in my early childhood, “As you grow up, you will start believing less in things like luck and God and more in your ability to change things by yourself." However, the opposite happened to me. The experience made me realize limitation of tools humans have-  will-power, money etc., and the influence the unexplained, not-fully-known alien power known as God exercises over the universe and its laws.

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This post is written on following prompt

Life is unpredictable !! Write about your unpredictable moment which changed your life !! #UnpredictableMoment

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The Zeroth Dimension!

Lucifer was agitated. The Nobel Prize for physics had been announced and not him but his fellow scientist Richard had won it for his theory on 5^th dimension.

Lucifer was one of the most renowned physicists, just like Richard. However, given his belief that the forces of universe are evil, he was nicknamed Lucifer by the scientist community.

Both he and Richard were working on dimensionalism, i.e. discovering dimensions beyond the four known till then. While he was working to prove existence of 0^th dimension, Richard was researching on 5^th dimension.

Lucifer too had submitted his theory on 0^th dimension for the Nobel Prize. In his theory, he had claimed that not only does the 0^th dimension exist, but it rules over all other dimensions including the known four- length, width, depth, and time.

Although both Lucifer and Richards completed and presented their research at the same time, the world lapped up Richard’s discovery of 5^th dimension with applause and rejected Lucifer’s 0^th dimension theory. The scientist community laughingly called his 0^th dimension theory a wild imagination or a science fiction at best.

Lucifer found it hard to digest the insult. He knew he was right- the 0^th-dimension really existed. A dimension which represents nothingness. A dimension which supersedes all other dimensions of the universe and can destroy all of them- including the 4^th dimension called time.

His logic was simple. If E = MC² is true, so should be E – MC² = 0. It means that all the energy and mass of the universe can be converged into nothingness represented by the 0 in the right hand side of the equation.

The Nobel Prize announcement was the last straw on camel’s back. Jilted, Lucifer knew what he wanted to do. He would have to show the world in practice, and not just in theory, that the 0^th dimension existed, that he was right.

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He walked through the security checks to get into the Large Hadron Collider tunnel. A scientist of his eminence hardy deserved to be stopped or asked any questions at this most advance particle research facility at Geneva. 

Inside the tunnel, different particles like Photon, Boson and Hadron were streamed continuously and their collisions studied in order to unravel the mysteries of universe. The research had already led the scientists to believe that there could be up to 10 dimensions and not just four as was believed earlier. What they didn’t believe in was the 0^th dimension.  

Lucifer inserted in a small chip into the particle emitter tube. The tube started emitting Photons which travelled back and forth at the speed of light through the 27 Kilometre long tunnel. But these weren’t ordinary Photons. These were the ones which could attain 0^th dimension, and could make the surroundings attain the same.

Inside the tunnel, as the newer photons collided with the ones reflected back from the end of the tunnel, they lost a dimension. First, they became two dimensional entities, just having length and width but no depth, then they turned one –dimensional – linear entities. And after the fourth collision, they turned into something which had 0-dimensions.

And this wasn’t the end. The Photons which went into the 0^th dimension, behaved like tiny balckholes spreading 0-dimensionism. They triggered a chain reaction where all matter surrounding them got sucked into them and vanished.

Soon, everything inside and around the tunnel started vanishing into the newly formed tiny blackholes, the 0-dimensional entities.

First, the tunnel collapsed, then the city of Geneva, followed by the Earth, Solar System and the galaxy Milkyway. Soon the Universe started to implode, with stars, planets, black-holes and all matter rushing towards the 0-dimensional vortex and vanishing therein forever.

                                        Soon the universe started imploding
The Hadron Tunnel became a 0-dimensional blackhole
gobbling up the matter around it.          

And all this happened instantaneously without any time lapse, since the 4^th dimension time had already been gobbled up by the 0th dimension.

Lucifer’s prophecy that “if E = MC² is true, then E – MC² = 0 should also be true”, had come true. the sum of all the energy and the matter contained in the universe had become 0. His revenge was complete. Only that he wasn’t around to witness it.

It is not known if the universe, converted into 0-dimensional nothingness will remain like that for ever, or this would be the beginning of next big bang with matter again borning out of nothingness and start forming a new universe.

Because no one really knows how 0-dimensionanism behaves.

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Another of my Sci-Fi is here E = MC²

This post is written for following prompt

Write a post on 0 (Zero). Write anything- humour, short story, haiku, poem, or a memory. #zero

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What Is India, By The Way?

The other day, my foreigner friend, Humpty Dumpty, asked me: “What is India?

Me: Why do you ask? It’s a country, a subcontinent, a....peninsula perhaps?”

He: I mean, what actually is India? I am confused. Is it a place where guests get worshiped like God, or get raped the first time they reveal their fair skinned legs below the skirt?

Me: Huh?

He: Is it the land of monks, or is it where Sunny Leone comes from? Is it a place where celibacy is revered? Or is it a place where people reproduce like rabbits?  

I batted my eyelids. I was as clueless as him.

He: I am confused. I vaguely know that it’s a place where women keep their faces hidden behind a veil, but someone recently told me that your national dress saree allows an eyeful of their bare belly?

Me: Yeah, and perhaps the navel too if you are lucky.

I wondered whether we Indians knew what India is.

Recently a certain Pappu called it a beehive and drew flak. People who pounced on him were the ones who prefer to call it “Mother”, but with a pre-condition that only a particular set words - “Vande Mataram” be used to refer to her.

I am not sure what it is.

Is it where you get the spiciest of food, or spiciest of ladies? I mean the the ones from Bolly, Tolly, and Mollywood?

Is it the biggest exporter of Patanjali’s Shilajit (desi aphrodisiac)? Or is it the biggest importer of Viagra?

Is it a place where you may get free wifi at public places, but will have to pay to use a toilet?

Is it a place where people flock to one Baba’s shop to buy everything swadesi including noodles and chocolates? Or where everyone is looking to go UK for studies, US for work, and for all other things, Bangkok. (Although someone recently claimed to have visited Bangkok for Vipaasana only).

Is it some sort of concoction? (Drinking which keeps us intoxicated enough to bear the pains of being here?)

Perhaps India is a cocktail served with some Vada Pao, Patanjali peanuts, butter chicken, and no beef.

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Image Courtesy- Indiatvnews

This post is written for following prompt

How can WE, the common public, help our country India?#WEPower

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The Unclicked Pics!

I never click any pics. I never carry a camera with me anywhere, nor my finger ever goes on my mobile.

I neither like clicking, nor getting clicked. The last time I allowed someone to take my pic was when they made my Aadhar card. (And the results were discouraging enough to make me continue my aversion for the camera.)

Actually, my laziness in operating the click-button, not possessing a selfie-stick, not having the patience to operate one, not having the will to carry a camera, and things like these help me savour the beauty of the moment and store it forever.

Whenever I get to see a snow covered mountain, a full blossomed chinar tree, colourful butterflies around, or tidal waves at sea, I just stand still, breathe in the scene, savour each moment and the scene gets etched in my memory forever. I do not prefer my eyes to be covered with lenses of any kind.

I don’t possess a selfie-stick, not the skill to operate one. The only sticks am good with, are fried potato sticks which I can gobble up a hundred in a few seconds. I plan to stick to my sticky resolution of not buying a selfie stick ever.

Come our annual vacation, and my wife ensures that our 30 Megapixel, high quality CMOS sensor, 20x optical zoom Canon is placed first in the travel-bag before I get a chance to place my humble pair of trousers there. She may forget to take along her toothbrush but never the camera.

The camera occupies quite a good space in our bag. That tiny yet mighty device is far richer in accessories than me. It has got a set of zoom lenses, spare batteries, data cable, memory-cards, hand-stand, tripods, carrying case and what not. Compare it with me who has got just a watch and a wallet to call as accessories. Actually, I feel pixelled (belittled) in front of the camera.

Then on that day of our jungle safari, as our jeep moved closer to the tree, we suddenly noticed a full grown Cheetah occupying the lowermost branch. His shiny skin and big, strong body emanated grace. All lenses and a pair of eyes (mine) turned towards him. I kept watching hypnotised, unaware of the clicking sounds around me, as he jumped off the branch gracefully and started walking majestically towards the bushes. For a moment, he turned back and our eyes met. He maintained the eye contact for a full half minute, as if acknowledging the appreciation in my eyes, then walked away confidently behind the bushes. Perhaps mine were the only pair of human eyes he got a chance to make contact with.

A year after, my wife was browsing through various folders in her laptop to locate the Cheetah pics to show off to her visiting friend but wasn’t able to locate. Sitting beside, I started narrating the scene beginning from the moment we first noticed him on the tree, how he jumped off and strode gracefully, his muscular body and the calm and confidence in his eyes. As I finished, she said, “Wow, you remember it so well, and your narration reproduced the picture for me”.

“Because I saw it with my own eyes honey, and didn’t allow the camera to see it for me. That’s why,” I said.  

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Running Between The Wickets!

This week's prompt

What is it that we are running after? Isn't it time to step back and enjoy life, nature, family or anything we really love

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Running between the wickets was once my passion.

The above prompt made me think............For long I have been running, running, and running........, but not between the wickets, for I have long forgotten to run for the runs.........

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India’s World Cup victory in 1983 ignited passion for cricket in me. As I watched Kapil Dev taking that legendary catch off Vivian Richards, I vowed that I will one day play the World Cup finals by myself.

This is the story of my passion for running between the wickets……

I saw that match,

That wonderful catch,

Which sent Viv Richards out,

In that all important bout…..

I saw him hold the cup,

With flow of champagne and wine,

And got shivers,

Down my spine…

Took out my bat and ball,

In a moment, was joined by my pals

Playing with a rubber ball,

We drew stumps on the wall…..

We played day and night,

With all our will and might…..

I dreamed of holding the bat,

One day, on international mat……

I shall put the pitch on fire,

In Lords, Oval, and Lancashire….

I shall send Imran for a six,

And put Aussies in a fix…….

I shall hold the cup again in hand,

India will rule the 22 yards land….

But when I grew,

It was entirely a different view….

I did well in the game,

Got some name and fame,

I took good catches,

And won a few matches….

“He is good with bat,” the word spread,

But my dad sternly said,

“The pen, and not the bat,

will fetch you your bread”…….

Pen is mightier than the bat, I was told,

And pen was the thing I went on to hold…..

The stumps, bat and ball,

Lay in a corner of hall…..

Then one day…………..

I saw the old stumps,

And got goose bumps……

The bat came to life,

And ball ready for a strife……….

I called up a few old chaps,

Who all came wearing white caps…..

The world around me changed,

As the stumps were arranged…….

As I hit the ball,

Over boundary-wall,

I realize, this is something,

Which was my true call…….

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Don't Hate The Mask!

This week’s Prompt......

Mask and masks, masks everywhere. What is it that the mask tries to hide? put it in prose poem, poetry, micro-poem, haiku or anything lyrical.

Mask on me, mask on you,

None can tell, who is who!

Mask on him, mask on her,

Masks come in various, colour and calibre!

Mask on the face, mask on the eyes,

Mask for the naive, mask for the wise!

Masks are long, masks are round,

If worn well, they give power abound!

Masks are enticing, yet masks are trap,

Look, there’s one, down the white cap!

Mask on the truth, mask on the lie,

With a mask on face, you never feel shy.

You loved your mask, but was love your mask?

I never knew, chose not to ask!

Don’t hate masks, masks aren’t sin,

‘cause without your mask, you can’t win!

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I am On Indiblogger

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Hey Blogger, When Will You Stop Blogging?

It has been 3 years since you started torturing the world with your blog. Well, if not the world, India, or at least the Indiblogger. Don’t you think enough is enough now?

Have you ever considered stopping? If not, let me give you some reasons.

There Is No Reason For You To Blog

This is the very first reason for you to stop blogging. Try stopping it and see what happens. The world will continue to function as it is. The earth will continue to revolve without any change in its axis of tilt, 23 and half degree that is! Nothing will happen to the Sun, Moon and even that recently discovered planet Kepler 62F.

Change The World? Huh!

You said you started blogging to bring about a change in the world. Do reconsider. Was it actually to bring a Flipkart voucher and Motorola G2 through Indiblogger contests? Admit it.

And now when the purpose is over, why keep blogging? (You throw your boarding pass in the dustbin as soon as you land at the airport. Don’t you?)

And for your information, Indiblogger has stopped contests and Happy hours now. So, what are you waiting for? Close the lid now.

You Need To Express Your Creativity? Oh, Really?

Okay. So you thought you are creative. Your mom and dad told you this, your third grade teacher told you, a subordinate in your office told you, and  you keep on telling yourself everyday while seeing in the mirror. Now why do you want more and more people to tell you the same thing again and again?  Give them a break, man! The guy at your grocery store doesn’t care about your creativity, neither does your milkman, barber, mechanic, carpenter, boss, spouse and kids. Believe me, they have better things to do than be bothered about your creativity.

There Is No Money In It, Honey!

Admit it, when you started you thought some day you would make lots of money from it. That didn’t happen, and you found that a plumber gets paid better than a blogger.

Look, people would pay up to get their leaking tap fixed rather than to read the poem you wrote. Need I say more?

Blog Or Do?

There are two types of people in the world- ones who blog and ones who do. And ‘blogging’ is not ‘doing’ (mostly).

What? Did I hear you say that you spread awareness about issues by blogging? Come on, it’s like writing recipe of an exotic dish for the starving people of Somalia. Your blogging about Nepal Earthquake didn’t help anyone, but you friend who donated blood, saved a life. You blogged, while he did.

Free-up Some Internet Space, Buddy!

The internet is already a congested space. With millions and millions of people adding their blogs everyday, there is hardly any storage space left in the servers of the world for other useful things. And if you insist on knowing what is “useful”, have the courage to hear that “everything that is not connected with your blog” is useful.

So why not consider freeing up some space now? And no, you won’t disappoint half the world’s population you think comprises of your readers. Rather, you would end up giving some rest to the bots from Estonia, Alaska, Latvia, and New Jersey who visit your blog.

So come on, just try it! Stop blogging now and you’ll discover a new world around you. Keep the keyboard aside, read a book, play with your kids, smell the roses, look at the lilies. (And do whatever you want to do, but just don’t blog about it, please!)

And when the show ends, I would be the one to clap the hardest!

Me talking to me.

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This post is written for following prompt in Indiblogger-

“Tell us your blogging story. When did you start? Why did you start?”

Posted by Jay Neog under Memoirs

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Fick This Fiction!!!!!!!

Some of my favourite fiction and how they impacted me.

The Election Manifestos

By- Politicians of India,  and the world

Published- Gets published generally every 5 years in contries with electoral democracy including India. 

It reads something like this-

Our party ***** under the leadership of ****** is committed to the upliftement of every Indian (or Ethopian or Cambodian or Bulgarian) and lead them to a heaven called Utopia.

Some examples are-

 1970s- Garibi Hatao (Eradicate poverty)- Yes. And the authors of this fiction eradicated their own poverty first.

1990s- Towards 21^st Century- Yeah, we reached to 21^st century as promised by them, though not because of them, but despite them.

How it impacted me- Increased my vocabulary. Earlier I never knew that ‘progress’ actually means swelling of their bank accounts.     

The Glorious Past Of India

By- Various (narcissists) Indians

This book claims that the ancient India had airplanes, missiles, cure for AIDS, television, wireless telephony, and  nuclear weapons; and that too at a time when the world was struggling to invent a wheel!!

Image courtesy ancient-origins.net

Oky, but what happened to the infinite knowledge we possessed? Did the aliens, scared of India’s prowess, landed here and erased the memory of our ancient scientists? Or were they abducted by aliens and taken to planet “Humgoo”?

The problem with this fiction is that a large number of people believe in it and any voice of reason against it is considered “traitorous”.

The Glorious Future Of India

By The Daydreamers

This book of fiction says soon India will be a superpower. When I was in school, they said this will happen in the year 2000. Then they said it would be in 2015. Now they say that in 2050 India will take over world’s economy.  The present superpowers USA and China will then bow before India and beg for mercy.

Image Courtesy - Slideshare

Oh yeah! Looks like to turn the statement “India will become a superpower” into realty, every country like China, or Sweden, or Brazil or Germany will have to be renamed as “India”.

How it impacted me- Made me regret why I wasn’t born in ancient times, or why didn’t I waited to be born till 2050!     

We Bring You The World Class Technology And Products

By- The Marketers

The ‘product’ could be anything- A washing machine, an Air-conditioner, a hair dryer or even a shampoo. Authored by some IIM educated marketer, this piece of fiction claims that a particular product is a revolutionary one, invented after years of research, probably by from NASA.

When they say ‘World Class’, they aren’t wrong. The shampoo could have been made from a toxic by-product generated during making of a detergent in USA but deported to India due to the stringent disposal laws there.

How it impacted me- Makes me wonder why my world class products bring me world class headaches by going boink soon!

Sale - Discount up to 99%

By The Marketers

This classic is from the same authors- ‘The Marketers’. The central theme of this fiction is the discount being offered on various good no one needs, like thirty, forty, fifty, ninety , and ninetynine point nine percent. (It’s a pity that they couldn’t offer more than 100% discount, just because of the very definition of percentage).

Upon reading this type of fiction, my faith in humanity gets restored. Some philanthropic guy out there is offering superb products at throwaway prices to me instead of his brother-in-law, his friend, his neighbour’s wife, his boss, and the boss’s sister in law.

How it impacted me- Makes me wonder why my house is stuffed with goods I most often ‘forget’ to use!

The Happiness Spreaders

By The caring and happiness spreading MNCs

“We at **** Cola are committed the environment and health of people. Our deep concern for the precious resource of the earth and it's environment is deeply rooted in our philosophy and hence we run our business in environment friendly and sustainable manner. Behind every drop of ****Cola, is our genuine concern for your health.”

And then the authors proceed to suck the earth dry of its ground water in order to fill millions of bottles with coloured chemicals marketed as elixir for happiness.

How it impacted me- Make me feel guilty that I am depriving myself  of the ultimate happiness they sell in bottles by sticking to my nimbu-paani and butter-milk.

The Social Activism

By The NGOs

“We are committed to show genuine concern for the society we live in and to our CSR polies are a means give back to the society……bhah bhah

Give me a break. When you mean society, it’s some forum which provides you an opportunity to flash your name all over the place. And when you ‘give’, you do it in full glare of media and surrounded with flashbulbs.

How it impacted me- Made me feel guilty that I never made any donations to them but just paid my taxes fairly, that too without any flash-bulbs around.

The Winning Speech At Beauty Pageants

By- Miss India, Miss World, Miss Universe

"My dream is to use this title of miss India/World/Universe bestowed on me to help the world’s poor and hungry, downtrodden and helpless, and teach the world the virtues of sharing and caring" etc. etc.

Yeah, and what better way to achieve this than to start dancing around in Bollywood flicks!

How it impacted me- I attained the divine knowledge that to help the world’s poor, you need to be a 36-24-36 figure.

And now, my most favourite one

Oo la la la la le o, Oo la la la la le o

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This post is written on following prompt in Indiblogger

Which fiction author's book/novel you like most? Why?

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